Female friendships in cinema

“Women helped each other in ways small and large every day, without thinking, and that was what kept them going even when the world came up with new and exciting ways to crush them.”

― Alyssa Cole, Let Us Dream

When someone talks about sisterhood or female friendships in pop culture, Sex and the City and perhaps its Indian cousin, Four More Shots, are the first of the many names that come up. 

But in Laapaata Ladies, female solidarity is portrayed through simple, everyday things. It's precisely what reminded me of Alyssa Cole's words on how women help each other in small and big ways daily. 

Without divulging much about the plot, here's what happens: Phool and Pushpa Rani, two new brides, get exchanged on a train journey because Phool's husband (Deepak) cannot recognise his veiled wife. Pushpa Rani reaches Phool's in-laws' village while Phool alights the train at a different station and finds shelter at an older woman who runs a tea stall. Phool befriends the woman and her helpers while lending a hand at the stall — while Pushpa Rani bonds with the women in Deepak's family.

Growing up in the 90s has exposed us to plenty of K-drama (Ekta Kapoor, not Korean drama) that pitted women against each other. While the world always witnessed cinema glorifying male friendships and their irrevocable bro code, filmmakers rarely portrayed sisterhood. Ever wondered why?

Pop culture illustrates women as bitter, catfight-loving people who constantly fight over a man — that love for a man defeats the purpose of sisterhood. Take Cocktail, for example. That a woman's life exists beyond a relationship with a man is unfathomable in pop culture, although literature has proven otherwise. 

But Bollywood is evolving..

..slowly.

Laapataa Ladies is a utopian dream! Yes, I loved watching the movie and teared up at the climax, but it also romanticises the condition of a veiled woman — women who get lost after their weddings, live amidst strangers, finally reunite with their partner, or discover their voice is far removed from reality. 

And yet, we find ourselves rooting for Pushpa and Phool. 

Certain moments are comforting to watch. There's a scene where Pushpa and the women in Phool's in-laws' house gather after dinner. Deepak's mother says to her mother-in-law, "Women of the house become everything — mother-in-law, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law — but rarely become friends. Amma, can you and I become friends?" To which she says, "Let's try!"

On the other hand, the woman Phool meets is a relatively independent and non-BS woman who tries to change Phool's worldview. They both meet mid-way as the movie shows her growing tender towards Phool. Despite the contrasts and how differently each female character in Laapataa Ladies is wired, one thing remains common: understanding the ordeals their gender undergoes. 

Nagesh Kukunoor's Dor also depicts a bond between the female protagonists, played by Gul Panag and Ayesh Takia, which was relatively new then. Because movies with the nefarious 'All Women Hate Each Other' or 'Not Like Other Girls' tropes were winning onscreen. 

Although Western cinema has been portraying sisterhood, it's relatively new, too. We've all grown up watching tropes where it was considered okay to put friendships behind for boys or ulterior motives. 

So, yes, watching shows or movies that challenge this assumption is fresh. Women in Laapataa Ladies do enough for each other in a believable manner; you know, not taking it too far unrealistically is a nod in the right direction.

And in the end, all I can ask is: can we get more movies on female friendships and stop making stuff where women hate each other?

Did you watch Laapataa Ladies, and what did you think of it? Also, do comment and tell me what you think about female friendships in cinema.

I’ll be back with an interview next week. See you then! 👋