Be more vocal at work & have multiple mentors

Hello! 

Welcome to the first edition of She Got You!, a newsletter in which I share my conversations with women who create, make a difference, and are building the workplaces of the future.

My first post is significant as it's my conversation with Aakanksha Singh Devi, my former manager (at Little Black Book) and my only female manager ever. That says a lot, right? 

I worked with Aakanksha (ASD, as we call her) for over three years, but I first met her at a Hyderabad cafe, where she came to interview me. Over coffee and while shooting a video of chocolate pancakes, ASD spoke to me about Hyderabad, shopping, and travel. In these six years, we still continue to talk about some of those things, but it’s safe to say she’s someone I reach out to quite often. 

She is an Associate Director of Content at Headout and has nearly 15 years of experience in journalism, media, and content.

And here's why she's got you! 👇

Sunaina: Please tell me about yourself and what drives you to do what you do.

Aakanksha: I like to believe I’m a dreamer, explorer, and writer! Luckily, my passion and profession merge as I’m in content marketing (Associate Director at Headout). I think the written word — although the younger generations don’t quite agree with it — is how creativity will continue. There will always be a place for the written word and creative content. Documenting the uniqueness of places, people, and products in whatever shape and form and helping people discover them makes it worthwhile. It’s a little like introducing them to a new present every day. Reading, seeing or hearing about something they have little idea about hopefully gives them a sense of excitement and joy. I love that myself, so that’s probably why I love doing what I do and have been doing for 15 years now. 

That's the long story! The short story? Writing, reading and sharing my view of this vast and wonderful world fuels their creativity and drive.

Sunaina: You make work your number one priority. How do you bring a balance into your life?

Aakanksha: Ah, this one is tough. I used to have a really bad work-life balance, but I am trying to improve it. One thing I know of myself, though, is that people ALWAYS come first. So, when it's family, friends and even my team who need me, I will show up for them. I am also very particular about exercise, sports, and doom scrolling. That helps me divide my day into a few very watertight compartments. When I am working out, reading or watching TV, my phone is usually in a room far, far from me. When I am working, everything else (including WhatsApp and Instagram) is far from me. 

Another thing I am slowly learning (too slowly, I am told by people close to me!) is saying no when necessary. Overcommitting to work or personal obligations can lead to stress and exhaustion. It sounds slightly self-important, but I am genuinely being selective about my personal and professional commitments. The pandemic taught me that my social circle needed to get smaller.

Sunaina: I often hear women saying we must be twice as good as men to get noticed at work. How do you feel about this?

Aakanksha: Unfortunately, it's true. You need to be twice as good..actually scratch that. It's easy to be twice as good. You need to be twice as loud. It drives me absolutely wild and mad, and I feel like shaking some people up to make them see that we are NOT weak. We are NOT stupid. It's like a lot of people keep up the 'women are not as good as men' agenda to feed their ego. Luckily, I've worked in companies with folks who are different from this. Or at least the ones I admire, am inspired by, and enjoy working with are not like this. But I’ve had to deal with such people far too often. But I do all I can to ensure that the women I work with feel the minimal impact of it. I'll try to shield them from this ridiculous archaic mentality and build them up to stand their ground and push back. 

Sunaina: Has your gender ever been a disadvantage at work? If yes, can you share an incident and how you dealt with it?

Aakanksha: It was a few times when I was in journalism. It was not the brand/publication that held me back, but there were some situations and events that were deemed unsuitable for those who identify as women. As a cisgender woman in the country I live in (India), for my safety, I had to back down from some assignments.

In 2011, some people also stopped me from writing and reporting on sports. Once or twice, I let it go, mostly because I was appalled and had no quicker comeback. But when I did pushback and went rogue and did it anyway, my work spoke for itself. Luckily, I had a supportive editor — also a woman — who made sure it didn’t happen again. 

Sunaina: Have you ever had a mentor? What should we look for while choosing one?

Aakanksha: I don't know if I had a single mentor, but a lot of strong women (and men, to be fair) who I've picked up and learned things from. From my mum, sister, grandmother and aunts, I learned fortitude; from my dad, I learned the power of humour and silence (okay, the silence part I need to work on); from a few friends, I've learned to navigate the complexities of my career. They're great sounding boards and help you avoid common pitfalls and make informed decisions.

So, yes! Everyone needs a mentor. But make sure it's more than one person. A few are fine. It helps keep you grounded and accountable, and it's lovely to have someone who can boost your confidence without patronising. Knowing you have a trusted advisor who believes in your potential can give you the courage to take on new challenges and stretch your abilities. 

Sunaina: What's that one book every woman professional should read?

Aakanksha: Gloria Steinem's Life on the Road. It's a proper ride of humour and fearlessness. Apart from the life lessons, you'll discover many practical insights you can use in reality. Like the part when Steinem shares her partnership with Dorothy Pitman Hughes, co-founding Ms. Magazine, a symbol of women's empowerment. Women supporting women at its best. Oh, and also the time she met Wilma Mankiller, the first female principal chief of the Cherokee Nation, whose leadership and dedication left a lasting impact that exists until today. I love me a story about women in leadership roles!

It's also a favourite because it teaches you to be yourself unapologetically. It's a must-read for women who want to hit the road to empowerment with a dash of wit and wisdom.

So, that was my conversation with ASD. If you find this intriguing, follow her on LinkedIn. I’ll be back with another conversation soon.